Not Another RC post

As some of you are aware, I don’t have any posts about RC 13. RollerCon 2013 as it were for the new to derby. Not because I had an überawesome time and was too busy to post a single blurb. I just didn’t go.  What happened that I missed a week’s worth of the second most awesome thing to happen in the world every year?


(sorry RC playoffs and nationals err championship take the cake) Work. that’s what happened.
But like I mentioned this isn’t another RC post. This is about the debut bout of Yellow Rose Derby Girls, of Southwest Houston

and the wonderful hosts Spindeltop Rollergirls. Best of all I got to work again with Fairlane. He’s one of the  referees that I try to emulate.

Yellow Rose got to be the first team to play at Spindletop’s new venue, Beaumont Civic Center which I personally like better than Ford Arena for several reasons.  The biggest is that there is NOT a huge pillar in the center of the track blocking the view of fans and refs.  Something worth mentioning is that this was the fastest bout I have ever reffed. Only three official time outs, which were to correct a scoreboard malfunction. Not a single team timeout.  I think from first whistle to the time I was geared down post bout was and hour and forty minutes.

Although as a ref, what makes every bout a success is no injuries. Our primary role as a ref is to ensure the safety of the skaters and impartial enforcement of the rules.


I was glad to see my home team, Yellow Rose Derby Girls come together as a unit, find their groove and cohesiveness and almost triple their first half score. I was also quite happy to see the few old friends I still have left at Spindletop, too many new faces, but that’s happening in almost every league now. Plus I’ve been sort of out of the loop for about eight months.  it’s great to be able to feel right at home like I’d only been gone a week.


heartbreak hotel

where do I begin?

CTRG Bout 6 flyer

Firstly thanks to Cen-Tex for finally being able to schedule me to ref, again. This was my first time reffing at the Frank Mayborn Civic Center, confused yet? last time I was scheduled I had car trouble en route. Then I was set to announce and I ended up having to work that weekend.

In any case, it had also been over a year since I’ve seen most of Alamo City Roller Girls. So when I finally geared up skated out and saw ACRG warming up and chatting with Pleasure to Beat you, my heart continued to break in half over and over hearing about LOAs, 9 month injuries and other league related details. I only recognized about 5 skaters. Whereas I had grown accustomed to showing up to the Rollercade in San Antonio and not recognizing one or two skaters.

So Snippy Snap, formerly a play on Eiffel tower and Evil (long story) is running around getting her ducks in a row. Something I admire about her in that she rolls with the punches to get the NSO paperwork in order. I had a sampling of NSO work, all positions at RollerCon last year, I appreciate all NSOs because all are stressful and important. more so the Head NSO, so I tip  my motorcycle helmet to you Kristi.

The Announcer who’s replaced me, Bad Dog I believe is his name, was really great. I feel like I might have to re-earn a chance to announce at Cen-Tex next season.

I must admit that although as a whole team zebra missed some calls, we can;t call it if we don’t see ALL of it, skaters didn’t lose their cool or argue calls they clearly didn’t agree with.

In all I’m glad for the opportunity to get to be on skates again, for two teams I admire and am treated like family.

it’s Official


sadly the day has come and the news has been delivered to me. Personal Time Off approval forms. My requested time off at the end of this month has been denied. Therefore I will not be attending the festivities that are otherwise known as Rollercon. Which is terrible because I have amazingly broad shoulders which I can easily carry a skater around on each, yes each, not around my neck. So KiKi, Lap Dancer Scarbie et al will have to reserve seats for 380 days from now. Or 2013 WFTDA Nationals, err sorry, Championships

Just a Color and a Number

I should’ve said I’d do one post a week instead of two a week. But here goes nothing.

Tall, short, fat, skinny, fast, slow, gay, straight, fresh meat or Suzy Hotrod on track during a bout you’re just a color and a number.

Believe me, I’m “not a beautiful or unique snowflake.” I’m just a guy who ref’s roller derby, on occasion wears a sexy pink shirt, and from time to time, Rock the Mic. Eenie Meanie sums it up fairly well, kill your heroes. You see, you can get better by trying to emulate someone who can DO something better than you. This does NOT mean that they ARE better than you. They’ve just practiced longer and with more effort and possibly some other variables.

Suzy Hotrod for instance, was just an occasional skater at birthday parties when she was 12. But it won’t stop me from enforcing a rule. Now she rarely draws a penalty. At RollerCon 12 however, a lot of people must have failed to mention to her that skating in the hallways can get your skater pass revoked (by the Riviera Hotel and Casino) and no one associated with RC could get that skater pass back. You can only wear skates on a track. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that everyone who spoke with her, as far as checking in was just in awe of her, handed Suzy her registration stuff and skate sticker and sent her on her way.

Now on her way to her first class I saw her skating to the classroom area, in the hallway, in front of a few hundred people. That particular day I was not officiating but had volunteered to be a Dick (sah-cure-it-tee). I stopped Suzy, put my shoe on her toe guard and asked her to take a knee and take her skates off.  She calmly stated that she was just going to the classrooms to teach. I told her I understand, but I don’t want you to loose your skater pass. She had a sort of puzzled look so I explained the rule as given to refs in every morning officials meeting. she smiled politely thanks me took a knee and scooted towards the door. Ophelia Mellons

and another Dick’s manager started yelling “THAT JUST HAPPENED!”




some of the crowd pissed themselves, others shit a brick and the rest didn’t give a damn. The point of this is just that I don’t care who you are, my job as an official is to ensure the safety of the skaters and enforce the rules, both WFTDA and of the venue (if any) And yes I knew precisely who she was, I took a picture with her at Star of Texas Bowl the weekend before, in the above mentioned sexy NSO shirt.

RollerCon 2012 redux

Holy crap
So now I’m in line at TSA for my flight to Mexico n just have to touch up on final thoughts on RollerCon. I didn’t take a class or watch a full bout or go to all the parties, I perused a few of the vendors but I still had a blast! How? If I didn’t do all the fun cool stuff? Well for one I was an official both on and off skates and got some kudos from other officials two fans a few skaters, one of them from team USA and they remembered me from another time we met.

AND I volunteered in a few departments got some swag and got to meet n get to know skaters n officials from leagues all over the world, Hi Susy Pow! All this plus peeking my head into some of the parties, chilling at the pool and walking the strip all makes for an ensured trip to Vegas next jul -31 aug 4. Did I mention? If you volunteer you can get a discount on the NEXT years ticket price up to getting a free pass!!!

Well time for a random selection pat down see y’all in week or so


So I popped my rollercon cherry and signed up to volunteer for a ton of hours. First day signed up as a Vendor for 6 hours. I thought it meant i would get assigned to a vendor and help them setup and sell stuff. Well i was partly right. Basically any vendor that shows up and wants help gets help unloading from the dock to their booth.

All that after driving 22 hours from Austin. Woulda made it sooner but ran into traffic in El Paso. Had a 2 hour break so instead of a nap I ate the lunch dinner breakfast an lunch I missed. Then did inventory & classroom, had no clue wtf this was but it was just accounting fir what went out to what dept, so they have an idea of what they need for RC13. Finally after midnight i got off volunteering and couldnt fall asleep til about 2. I dont think i moved in my sleep