Full Metal Bracket

I know, I know. It has been quite a long time since I have posted anything new.

March of this year I retired from being a referee, there were a lot of reasons, ultimately I just enjoyed announcing bouts more than calling penalties.

I have not been proactive in seeking bouts to call. As word was getting out that I was no longer a ref, people assumed that I had quit derby altogether. When skaters asked why I quit derby I would have to correct them that I am now an announcer which led to being invited to call a bout. Also Piggy Phatness wrangled me into a Hurricane Alley bout and helped spread the word of my availability.

A while back I heard a rumbling about a possible B-Team tournament that might be hosted by Texas Rollergirls. I threw my name in the hat to try and get in on the action though I thought I had the slimmest chance to get on the Mic. I fully expected most of the teams to bring their own announcer along with their contingent of officials. Lucky for me, that was not the case, only two announcers came along, local announcers were busy, and Chip Queso was taking a step back to allow TXRGs new announcers to have a shot having some time on the mic.

I managed to call 8 out of 17 bouts this weekend. A great learning experience and an opportunity to work with Bikini Skills of Montreal, Bobby Narco of Gotham, Harlot and Bullet Sucker of TXRG.

What I learned this weekend, peppering in a foreign language can making calling a bout fun (thanks Bikini Skills), Sponsors don’t have to be read off the copy, they can be worked into conversation (Bobby Narco), Getting into character or a persona is totally fine (Harlot), calling derby doesn’t have to sound like derby, I can use other sports terms to paint the picture of what going on the track (Bullet Sucker).

All in all I had a great time these past three days and thank everyone who made the Full Metal Bracket Possible, and for all the factors that led to me being able to be on the mic so often this weekend.

Oh and some team from Texas won’t the tournament in case anyone was wondering.

TXRG Firing Squad first champ pic


Star of Texas Bowl


So if you weren’t aware Texas Rollergirls, TXRG, hosted a tournament this past weekend in Austin. Gotham (NYC), Windy (Chicago-duh) and B.A.D. (San Francisco) played, as well as a scrimmage between TXRG’s B-Team and Centex (Killeen, TX) All Stars. I had submitted my name to ref assuming that not all leagues could bring their refs AND a lot of leagues within 5 hrs drive of Austin would be having a bout on one of the days the tournament was being held. I never considered the fact that tourneys that draw big leagues in also draw top certified refs outta the woodwork. Luckily I was still allowed to NSO, yes I said “allowed” I’m a Derby official, not just a ref. I learned a lot just from observing Sugar Daddy, Professor Murder, Curtis E. Lay, Judge Knot, and a host of other officials. Some of whom did duty as NSO as well.

I’m still blown away at the level of officials I rubbed elbows with and they aren’t as intimidating as I imagined they would, and not at all stuck up. As a matter of fact they were quite encouraging and mentory… That’s not a word but I can’t think of what I’m looking for. If I made a mistake they were quick to offer, “next time do this…” and those lessons will stick with me longer than “why the HELL did you …”

I was scheduled to ref the Centex vs TXRG Firing Squad and I got pulled into reffing the Sunday morning scrimmage I was originally set to NSO. Centex fought hard and took a few lead changes from TXRG, but in the end Firing Squad shot off some winning jams toward the end.
The Sunday scrimmage was simply an endurance skate. Every jam 10 skaters rotated in from a line about 50 deep on each side of the black n white teams, with a few skaters switching shirts sometime into the scrimmage. All for an hour and a half with 3 or 4 official time outs for jammer refs to switch bandanas, OPR to switch with IPR, a score check, and penalty board check.

One final note, I had the sexiest unofficial officials shirt that made Suzy HotRod snicker when she took a pic with me. Now back to RollerCon 2012