MissFits Cherry Poppin


My first announcing gig of the 2013 season. Actually first derby gig of the season, and I think it went pretty well. Caught up on some zebra news with Krez Sez.  Saw plenty of old faces, new to me old derby faces, and brand spanking new derby faces actually A LOT of those.

It was  ironic, that I was announcing at the rink that I started seriously skating again after hmmurphteen years. This was after Copperhead got me interested in derby, eventually I ended up as a referee for Northside Fury when they got started. But all of that is for another day’s blog post. … like when I’m dry on ideas.

roller derby bout

Northside Fury @ Montgomery County Missfits’ inagural bout

Now bout production is like a headache and a half plus a migraine all while running hundred meter sprints,  repeatedly until the game starts. However everyone managed to stay calm while getting everything in order. With that covered, I had the privilege to announce Montgomery County Missfits inaugural home game. Not that Royal Tease knew me before hand. Actually I had found out that Krez Sez was the head ref.  I asked if his ref crew was full up, by that time it was, but announcer was up for grabs if I wanted it. Whether he talked me up or he just told Royal Tease “hey i know a guy who’s announced a time or two and isn’t a total hack” I don’t know, but I got the gig. Later Sunnie with a chance of pain was my co-announcer and we’ve worked together a few times before.

Now as a disclaimer, and Sunnie brought it up during the bout, I was also scoreboard operator. It’s not a terribly difficult job, but it needs a lot of attention.  Mostly with the scorekeepers (manager) and with the Jam Timer who signals the time outs and by his hand signal which team or if its an Official Timeout. In hindsight I was more of a Scoreboard operator who was adding color commentary.

The new ruleset on the surface seems easier to work with.  However during one Jam there was a situation where the Jammer on a scoring pass scored 0 points. Not even her NOTT points (Ghost points for the non-officials) one opposing skater was out of play while another was down, and the box was full.  without legally passing one opposing skater, she cannot earn the NOTT points.  It caught me off guard when I saw 0 points and the hand signal for no pass no penalty. But I know Fairlane knows the rules quite well and doesn’t make many mistakes. And will be the first to admit when he was in the wrong or accept, graciously, a critique that he is or might have made a call in error. But only from another official who knows the ruleset—refs don’t really listen to skaters when they say the ref is wrong or didn’t make a call.

One thing that I am fond of is refs who are truly Derby Enforcement Agents. They’ll wear a pink shirt, or in last night’s case a black shirt, just as easily as stripes. Fairlane on many occasions has been an NSO, as well as PBJ, Krez myself and a few other officials. The surprising addition was Corbin Cojones. Now for some of you in the “renegade” leagues this guy is a level 4 cert ref. Corbin has reffed at  Regionals and Nationals, he also refs for Houston Roller Derby and when you question a call he’s made he can quote you section and rule verbatim to back up his call. This was also beneficial because there was a jam where we had a few seconds of a jammerless jam.

When jammer B goes into the penalty box Jammer A’s time it immediately up. Generally. Most fans know this but they don’t know the rules, well even some skaters don’t know this one loophole I’m about to describe. If Jammer A goes into the box a second time in the same jam, Jammer A has a full minute. Jammer B has whatever time remains from the difference Jammer A had left. Confused? Great, I’ll tell you what happened last night.

Green jammer goes into the box, 40 seconds later (guestimate for the sake of this explanation)  Black jammer goes to the box. Green is released and Black only has to serve 40 seconds (instead of the full minute). Green jammer enters the track at the front of the pack, Illegal Procedure Major, back to the box.  Black Jammer has still has her first 40 seconds remaining. Green now has a full minute, so the difference in time will be a “jammerless jam”.

As this happened I announced that it looked like a jammerless jam was about to be coming up. for the sake of the penalty box. I couldn’t tell who was back there and then. I had no clue Corbin was at the bout let alone PB manager. But this was mostly because even some experienced NSOs rarely see this situation come up. So in this case I’m glad, and I’m sure Krez was also grateful for having Corbin as the PB Manager.

In any case, I had fun announcing. I just got an offer to announce for Rocket City in the future, again. I’d like to do more reffing than announcing, not that I don’t like to announce mind you. Because aside from lineup track I have on of the best seats in the house. But officiating keeps your on your mental toes per se. I am far from Chip Queso, Dump Truck and even my Louisiana favorites DJ TJ and Stash Merkin. Hopefully In time I’ll get there.

I was can’t believe how quickly time flies when you’re having fun.  Oh by the way the Missfits won, Fury’s did a heck of a job-seriously.

If you have an idea for a blog, found this post funny, educational and/or entertaining. Please like and share with your friends. They might thank you for it!

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5 thoughts on “MissFits Cherry Poppin

  1. Thanks for the shout out and I’m glad you enjoyed your very first call. It took a good 7 or 8 bouts for me to actually start enjoying it. So you’re already several steps ahead of me when I started out.

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    • too true, and once more. you did an amazing job single handedly announcing that Mississippi Roller Vixens @ Acadiana Rollergrils bout. on the mic you didn’t even seem to break a sweat

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      • Aww well thank you again! I like hamming it up. I always say I graduated Shatner cum Laude from Overacting University 😉

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