Sloppy Firsts

So Tee TotalHer picks me up to go practice at SkateWorld in Deer Park and along the way we of course talk shop. Basically the Idea of Champion Roller World’s recognition in the roller skate rinks circles, pun intended, as a spring board for other types of training to be held. Also we discussed how some girls, though have the same drive, end up in different places as far as derby. 

Example I gave was a “scholarship student does their absolute best, goes to study groups, takes notes etc and just struggles to make Cs and low Bs. Another scholarship student same effort and manages to make Solid Bs and a few As” point being some girls are going to have just a little MORE natural athletic ability.

Anywho so we get to SkateWorld and there’s a high school girls soccer team private party. Nothing of interest other than the practice time was pushed an hour out. Ajax, Goldie and Rebel Ann allegedly were coming out to the scrimmage night, they didn’t make it out. Rocket City RG got their warm ups and 25 laps on the track in each direction done pretty quickly. I shuffled between OPR and inside pack just because we had Krez, Chongo[sic] MGM and me, El Gallo (Elle Guy-Yo) in case you haven’t already figure that out (I’ll remind you from time to time) on the inside and Private Been Jammin on the outside with her freakish skating endurance. I’d go to the outside since it got crowded I’d get winded following the back pack after about 5 laps then back to the inside.

Sooooo we did equipment check and got the ball rolling. Every now and then during scrimmages I just can’t get my head in the game, not really thinking about anything. Just having a hard time processing what I’m seeing and thus late or not calling penalties or not whistling majors and thus letting them slide as minors. Once I get in it, about five jams in I miscall a false start. Official time out  I go my head in it. And then the whole shebang starts going to shit. Not terrible, just amusingly bad. Skaters falling and tripping their teammates. Luckily no one got seriously hurt. The focus was swooping hip checks that was learned at Monday’s practice. So seeing skaters swoop to the inside or fly out of bounds made for entertaining obstacles.

Toward the end practice Tee and another Northside Fury had to leave early to make it to our normal practice on time, as did a few RCRGs. They kept scrimmaging  with just enough for 3 on 4. Here is where it got to be fun and and were just flying all over the place. Practice was over said my goodbyes then I rode with Krez and PBJ to CRW. Derby ❤ cannot be succinctly expressed in a blog you just gotta be a part of it

NFRD warmups were underway when we arrived. Krez and I geared up and got out on the rink and followed in with the pack doing laps each direction looking for penalties to call and just getting used to calling # COLOR penalty, so that we get used to the skater and their number without having to look at her shirt, arm or helmet. 

Fury’s did a 2 blocker and jammer drill, jammer objective to get through and blockers objective is to prevent that. or if they knock her out of bounds turn around race back and force the jammer to skate farther back. Basic strategy stuff, plenty of calls to make aloud, Black 524 elbows, Black 80 forearms, 700 Back Block 30 more mins of this and we start to scrimmage. Goes pretty smoothly, no injuries nothing too sloppy tonight just a little unfocused. But its just a scrimmage right? So we go on make our calls and Krez explains the why of a call. So our skaters understand what they did wrong and hopefully learn to correct it. Sometimes they think a certain scenario should be another call or lack of called penalty. But its easily explained when WFTDA rules say “…upright AND skating…” in the end we all learn something, because sometimes we are posed with the scenario that we rarely if ever have seen and thus have to break it down.

Hope I didn’t bore you too much, and if I did well no one made you read the whole thing


Just a Roller Derby announcer, former I referee, rock the mic and in the past I have been known to wear a sexy pink shirt. I share my point of view formerly from inside of the track and now, wherever the announcers booth is. Or

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